Celebrating my Grandma Donna’s Life

This post is dedicated to my grandma. My Grandma Donna passed away on Christmas Eve which was bittersweet. She had cancer and it sounded like she was suffering quite a bit the few days prior to her passing. I am so glad she no longer has to suffer. She is my last and final grandparent to pass away. It’s kind of crazy to think that an entire generation of my family is gone. Her funeral, or as my uncle reminded us- a celebration of her life, was held in Utah. Even though these were bittersweet circumstances, I was pretty excited to see my immediate and extended family. Everyone was able to make it. I don’t remember the last time we were all together and so that was pretty cool.

The last time I had seen my grandma was the night before I moved to California. We thought she might have cancer, but it was not a sure thing at that point. I remember at the time I had a feeling this would probably be the last time I would see her in this life. She was in great spirits and I am glad this is how I get to remember my last time with her. The last thing she said to me was to send her letters. I thought this was cute because I’m so used to calling, texting, or emailing people, but her generation wrote letters.

Her viewing was held Thursday night. I really enjoyed looking at all of the pictures of my grandma throughout the years. She was always so stylish and fashionable. Some of her outfits from 60 years ago would still be in style today. She definitely had a classic look. A lot of friends and family members of her generation have already passed, but it was great to meet those who were able to come. I had never met her brother before and he is the cutest man. It was fun to get to know him and I could not believe his outlook on life. He too has cancer and still maintains the most positive attitude and approach to life. I was also able to meet some of my grandma’s friends that she always spoke so highly of- the Roses. It was kind of cool because one of the Rose girls told me about one of her memories of my grandma when she was a teenager. She  was younger than my grandma and remembers looking at her and hoping that she could be as beautiful and well liked as my grandma when she was her age. This was interesting to me because whenever my grandma spoke of the Rose family it was always in a way that you could tell she really looked up to them and so it was neat to realize that they too looked up to her.

Pictures from the viewing

I was able to speak at my grandma’s funeral which  was an honor. I am very intimidated by public speaking and have a hard time holding it together at funerals. Thankfully I made it through my talk (with a few tears, but it was a funeral afterall). I thought I would post a copy of my remarks not so everyone has to read them, but just so I can keep a copy of it. 

“I am grateful for the opportunity I have to say a few words today. As I’ve been deciding what to say, it has given me the opportunity to reflect upon my relationship with my grandma. I decided one of the best ways I can honor her is by sharing some of the qualities I admire in my grandma.

First would have to be her passion. Whenever grandma was feeling sad, lonely or disheartened, you could instantly change her mood by bringing up certain topics. These were the things that would brighten her day and remind her of some of her most cherished memories.

Definitely one of her favorites was BYU. She loved her cougars. She would often talk about her days as a BYU student and how different BYU was when all the men were away at war. She was a proud alumni of BYU all the way to the end of her life. She loved BYU sports and was always a loyal fan.

Another thing she was passionate about was traveling. She often spoke of her many travels. She would always make me laugh when she’d recount that the other teachers she taught with at school would get jealous of all the time off she took to go on trips. Her favorite vacationing spot was hands down Hawaii. I had the opportunity to join her and grandpa on one of their trips to Hawaii. I’m not quite sure why they agreed to let me come along, but it sure was fun to see them in their element. Grandma was absolutely on cloud 9 as she sat next to the pool in paradise. They had all of their favorite restaurants and things they made sure to see. I remember asking Grandpa what he liked about visiting Hawaii and he replied, “I like coming to Hawaii because grandma loves it and it makes her happy.” I couldn’t agree more with that. It was one of her favorite places on Earth.

Which brings me to the thing she was probably most passionate about, and that was grandpa. The last few years of her life she definitely struggled with her role as a widow and understandably so. I remember visiting with her not too long ago and the topic of grandpa came up. She immediately started crying and expressed how much she missed him and how lonely she was without him. She missed her travel buddy and companion. I am so grateful that they have been reunited and can continue on their journey together.

Another quality I admire in grandma is her sense of humor. I don’t think she realized how entertaining she sometimes was, but she sure did make me laugh. My husband reminded me a few days ago of one of these instances. Grandma would always give me advice on getting married. Her most frequent counsel was that I could marry more in a minute than I could make in a lifetime. She definitely had a point. When she found out that I had chosen nursing as a career, she thought it was the perfect opportunity for me to find myself a rich doctor. When I went to visit her to tell her I was engaged, she immediately perked up and said, “oh so you found your rich doctor?” Her reaction was definitely priceless. I told her no. My fiancé was actually an accounting student, but he went to BYU. This definitely redeemed him in my grandma’s eyes.

The last quality that I would like to mention is my grandma’s love of family ties. She enjoyed doing genealogy and studying the lives of the early LDS church pioneers. She was always proud to be closely related to President Gordon B. Hinckley.

One of my most cherished memories of my grandma was when she was able to be present at the temple with me when I went through for the first time. I had invited her and told her I would love it if she could come. I knew this would be a big sacrifice for her because it required her to get dressed in her Sunday best and would require a lot of time and effort on her part. I had to get to the temple earlier than everyone else. I remember waiting in a room and wondering if my grandma would end up coming. It definitely made my day when I saw her walk in and I hope she knows how much that meant to me to have her there.

My grandma will definitely be missed, but her legacy will be honored as we focus on the example that she set for us all and as we remember the things that we admire about her. Elder Russell M Nelson once said in general conference,

“Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Prior to our birth, we dwelled as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. There we eagerly anticipated the possibility of coming to earth and obtaining a physical body. Knowingly we wanted the risks of mortality, which would allow the exercise of agency and accountability. “This life [was to become] a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.” But we regarded the returning home as the best part of that long-awaited trip, just as we do now. Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.”

I am grateful that my grandma has once again returned home to be surrounded by loved ones. I am forever thankful for my knowledge of the plan of salvation and that I know I will be able to see my grandma again. This knowledge is what gives me hope and comfort with the passing of a love one.”

All of the grandchildren and their spouses. This might be the only picture of all of my cousins together in more than 10 years. Good thing our outfits were coordinated:)

All of the original grandchildren.